last day..

Last day in Heaven ......Eow slept deeply when i wake up last night around 4.30am ,i Couldn't sleep anymore, i just wanted to look at her,engrave her beauty in my mind,i feel bad not saying her that i leave Bangkok tonight (it's midnight here),maybe for ever,i didn't pack any bag,i'll just take my jacket, my passport, some cash,and my memories,an ''enchanted bracket',may be i'l call her from the airport,I put my gold ,my cash, my atm card and some papers she will need for the appartements and the restaurant,i put my keys too and few other things in a box money is not everythings but......it could help her....,i went down to the fruit and flower market,usually when i see the monks i let Eow buy the food for the temple and knees down listen the Monk prayers,me i wait and look, sometime a monk speak with me,want know about Europe and the rest of the world,this morning i bought the food ,and ask the monk to recite a mantra for Eow and put my knees down for the first time since iam here,iam not a believer,but if this can protect eow.....,when i came back she was still sleeping ,i stopped to the room service kitchen for make her favorite breakfast and put an orchid,in a vase i want her happy ,why spend a day to think ,see her sad and cry ,or so...,she'll understand,she know me,i say to her many time'' when you love people, no need they stay close to you, even if they gone they are in you ,if you really love someone,if he /her have to go for any reason do not force her/him to stay sometime it's more difficult for the one who go,it's not about loving or not loving it's just life,fair, unfair ..just life,with is beauty and is drama,..i tried to hanging on the web before she wake up but i was disconnect because of the weather here so i gave up,today we went to this park with a big lake take a lot of bread rent a small boat and feed the fishes ,hundreds of them surrounded us ,here everyone can feed them and nobody fish them so they have no fear and they dancing around the boat, i love see some sparkles in her eyes ,she full of life i gave her a nickname ''little squaw''because she love the countryside and so ingenuous,she named me her ''shooting star'' because '' she say ''iam a ray of light in the darkness.....yes a shooting star who come briefly.... shine shortly and go.......peace